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The Break Room

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Uncomfortable Moments with Mom

There are just some things that no one, especially a man, should do with their mother.  Yeah, we all know the obvious.  However, there are grey areas, like discussing “grooming” techniques or best things to read while on the dumper.  Sure, you can discuss these things with “Dear Old Mom,” but, having a choice between Mom breaking down her post Garbage Plate bathroom Olympics or eating glass, I’d take the glass.   How about movies?  Not porn, just movies with hot sex scenes like the 80’s classic “Road House” or Halle Berry in “Monster’s Ball,” probably not on your top 10 films to watch with “Maaaa!”  Have you seen Ben Stiller’s “Heart Break Kid?”  Typical stupid flick, but the sex scenes are a cross between smoking hot and awkwardly uncomfortable because of Ben. And the awkwardness rocks to eleven when your sixty something mother is in the room!  I’ll spare you the whole re-cap of Ben Stiller’s  “The Heart Break Kid,” except to say that Ben meets women who is on her way to do laundry when her ex- boyfriend rides up on a scooter and steals her purse – knocking her and her laundry everywhere.  Ben helps her gather her things and tells her where he works, blah, blah, blah…oh, and Ben’s character has no idea at this point in the movie that the guy on the scooter is the blonde’s ex-boyfriend.  In the chaos the blonde drops a pair of panties and takes off before Ben can give them to her.  So, like any horny man he carries them around with him and shows his best friend, played by Rob Codry, and his father, played by his real life Dad, Jerry Stiller.  The scene in Ben’s sporting goods store where the blonde is “shopping” and Ben and Jerry see her, is hysterical because of Jerry; and it involves the “lost” panties.  Ben, after a little prodding, dates her, falls for her and too prevent her moving to Europe for her job, marries her.  Here comes the awkwardness.  As Ben and his new hot bride a driving to Mexico for their Honeymoon, she says let’s find a hotel and fuck!  Weird to hear women say that with you mother in the room!  Then she doesn’t just fuck, she goes RODEO – Swedish helicopter, screaming “Jack hammer me.”  Ben looks like he is pain and even embarrassed as his bride is flipping, twisting, breasts bouncing and screaming at him to fuck harder!  Every guy would love to hear this and even learn more about the Swedish Helicopter, but to watch this with your mother, not knowing these scenes are coming…UGH!  I couldn’t flip the channel fast enough. After some awkward conversation, my mother said she was going to bed.  A few seconds after she left the room, I went back to “The Heart Break Kid.”  About 5 minutes later Ben and his Bride are a t a resort in Mexico and she is tearing him up in the bed AND MOM WALKS BACK IN TO TELL ME ONE LAST THING.  I scramble for the remote, it falls, and she mutters something and says “I’ll leave you to your porn” and walks out!  The problem is I am at her house.  I feel like I am twelve.  At least at my house I can rely on the fact that I pay the bills and can watch what I want, but at her house…uhhh, hmmm, AWKWARD!  Add to the list of movies you may want to avoid with Mom, Ben Stiller’s “The Heart Break Kid.” Or watch it with Mom and see how she reacts, you might learn something about your mother you wish you never knew!

02/17/2009 9:52AM
Uncomfortable Moments with Mom
Please Enter Your Comments Below
06/04/2009 9:39PM
Hi, good post. I have been wondering about this issue,so thanks for posting.
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